my doctor told me last night that the baby I lost earlier this year had an extra sex chromosome. That happens?!?! She told me that it had XXY chromosome, instead of 46 it had 47....

So apparently since I like self inflicted pain, I went and looked up XY and XX to see whats what and found out the baby would have been a boy. Actually assigning it a sex makes it so much harder. Its gut wrenching.

I feel like I can't even process this loss because Im still stuck on the other one... It all just hurts and I never in a 100 million years thought I would have to deal with this. I wont say I dont deserve it because no woman or family EVER EVER deserves to go through something like that.

I forgot to tell you earlier, but one of my good friends is due 10 days after I would have been... I JUST got through my August 17th EDD, and now I'll have to deal with another right at the beginning of April and watch my friend have her baby and me sit there with empty arms. I feel like this hasn't eve phased dylan because he wasn't really connected to this pregnancy. He wanted to make sure everything was ok first. And as long as the U/S went ok yesterday we were going to tell everyone... But obviously not anymore...