here I am

again... I just can't believe Im doing this again. Why can't we just have a great pregnancy and a healthy baby? I feel like Im never going to get to have more kids, I am just so thankful for Amara...

People keep telling me that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, but IM SOOO tired of being strong. So tired of it.

Its so hard to look down and see my little bump gone. Its almost entirely flat again...

I can't do this again. If doc werner says that this could happen again I dont know if I want to try for anymore babies... I really dont want to put myself mentally and physically through this again...