doctor appointment

Hey! I can't believe I waited so long to post about going to the doctor. I went and saw doc werner on the 27th and everything with the baby looked great. The heartbeat was 171 and the location of where it's at is great as well. She said that I was only about 8 weeks instead of 9.5, but she wasn't worried about that part.

I had to go get my first set of maternity pants today. I am excited and way more comfortable. I keep trying to suck it in to see if Im just a fatty, but it doesn't really go away. my regular pants were just getting SOOOO uncomfortable I was miserable trying to get dressed every day. So I got a pair of skinny's that I can wear with boots, and a pair of wide leg that i can wear with everything else. We also stopped at the Gap outlet and i found some AWESOME stuff there too. Nice long comfy sweaters and all kinds of shirts. Im super excited.

It's time to go get the hair trimmed again too. It's getting too long to stay styled, so time to get some chopped off. I am going to shorten the side that is longer so that its even this time. I figure that Im goig to have it short for a while, so every time I get it cut I'll try something different. I just need to come up with the $40 for the haircut now, lol.

Anyways... time for me to get back to work. Im worn out after walking around and shopping for 2 hours and then stuffing my face with a huge burger at red robin.

I'll update again soon. I forgot my ultrasound picture at the hospital, but it's coming in the mail. As soon as it gets here I'll add that to the post so you can see! And in about 2 weeks I go back in for my NT testing to see if there are any problems like downs syndrome or other chromosomal problems...

hey...

Me again. So I got approved for medical! YAY!! Now that I have that cleared up and already have my card in hand, I am going to see Dr. Werner for sure. I thought my appointment was Thursday, the day after tomorrow, and it's NOT. damn it. It's not until Friday. Which is only one more day, but still. I was SOOOOOOO ready and excited to go to the doctor and now I have to wait. balls.

Anyways. I really hope that I get an ultrasound at the appointment and not just the doppler thing to hear the heart beat. I really want to see the baby and make sure everything is going ok in there. I think that Dr. Werner will probably do it anyway, and if she doesn't I doubt she'll have a problem if I ask. I dont have to pay for it, so might as well ask!

... Ok this is nasty but I gatta go clean my nip piercing. dylan and I were kidding around today and he totally titty twisted me and it's all sore and puss-y. And thats puss-ie not pussy... like your downstairs part. HAHA.

Over and out.

Today was my EDD...

Today was the EDD (estimated due date) for the baby... I've tried to stay really busy and not think much about it, but when I stop and my brain starts turning it really sets in.

earlier dylan asked me if it was better or worse to be pregnant right now. Honestly it just depends on the day. Right now it's weird and makes me sick because I should be in the hospital delivering a full term baby, and instead of that, Im at the very beginnings of this pregnancy, not even having been to a single doctor appointment yet. Other days it's great and im so happy to be pregnant again already. Like I said, it just depends.

I can't really get stuck on it because either way im NOT in the hospital giving birth to a baby right now. Im not, and at no point in the extremely near future will I be. So there you go.

I thought this blog post was going to be a lot longer, but I think this day was weighing a lot heavier on my mind 2 days ago. Keeping up with the blog again has been nice, keeping things off my chest and from building up...

Anyways. We went back to the gym today, and to the pool for 2 hours so Im beat. I also got 7 more girls pillowcase dresses sewn, and cut a bolero out for a client, and listed 3 new things on etsy. This baby makin' machine is tired and hungry.

Im out.

feeling confused.

... my due date from the last pregnancy is in 2 days. I didn't really think about it and then it hit me today and it's been in the back of my mind since then. I was supposed to be going to the doc on the 17th, but had to reschedule it until the 27th... It would have been both weird and nice to be in there looking at the new baby on the due date of a baby that is gone.... At least I finally would have been able to put my brain at ease and have seen the baby in an Ultrasound.

I... dont know. My original plan was to just go get totally drunk on the 17th and not really deal with it, but a) that can't happen anymore, and b) I would have to deal with the emo problem AND the hangover the next day...

On another note, I have heard from DSHS and seem to be in good shape as far as getting insurance. I talked to someone named Rebecca and she sent me an income varification form and something I have to do for self employment and then I should be set. Whats really nice is that its supposed to cover eye and dental as well. So this terrible tooth I have, I can hopefully finally get it fixed. It's been killing me for like 4 months now :( Tomorrow I am going to mail the stuff in for DSHS and try to get coverage ASAP. Then Im going to call the doctor office and see if I can get in any sooner, even if I have to drive out to Issiquah... I just want to see the baby.

Tomorrow Im supposed to be 8 weeks. I am crossing my fingers that I am actually like 10-11 weeks and everything is fine with the baby. I just want to be out of this trimester. I am tired of being tired, and Im hormonal and my tits are killing me. Thats just the only way there is to put it. I used to stay up until like 3am working and now I can't even stay up until 1230 and not fall asleep on the couch. It's 10:04 right now and I could seriously go to bed and have NO problem passing out... And, the retarded thing is I slept almost 11 hours STRAIGHT last night. wtf, pregnancy!

Ok... well Im out of here. I can't really work anymore cause my hands are killing me from all the sewing I did earlier, so I guess I'll go eat some toffee from Tweet Toffee (I met her yesterday at Seattle Square) and fall asleep on the couch...

Insurance Update

well balls.

If I dont get qualified for DSHS insurance, we dont have insurance for me to go to the doctor for like 3 more months, AFTER dylan starts his new job. If I go to the doctor without insurance I have to pay about $550 out of pocket. for ONE visit. One. I guess it's cause of the pap smear and ultrasound but DAMN. I can't pay that every time I need to go in.

My appointment now is scheduled for the 17th, but if I dont get the DSHS situation I can't go in. I just wish I could get in and do an ultrasound and see whats going on. But Im sure I've said that before, so I wont go off on that again.

Dylans party was today, it was fun! We had bbq'd food and snack stuff out all day, the wii was going and stuff. Plenty of people came over and hung out for a good chunk of the day. Hopefully Dylan had a good time.

Anyways. I dont really have anything to say. I've sort of lost my train of thought, lol... I guess I'll be back when I have another update!

-me

*sigh*

Slight mental breakdown this morning... I woke up today and my hands were still sore and achey, so I called the doc office and left a message. It doesn't make sense to me either, but according to the paper I got from WIC swollen hands and face are signs of miscarriage. My hands and face aren't swollen but as soon as I saw that I thought maybe the symptom was just showing up a little different for me. I still dont get how the 2 things coordinate, but I called the doctor anyways. The office manager took the message and a nurse called me back, asking if I had any other signs of miscarriage I told her no, but I also had a missed one earlier this year, and remember the same hand pain last time. I can't really remember how it was in coloration with the actual loss, but I thought the doc should know. She basically made me feel like a total moron for even calling and said she'd talk to Dr. Werner and call me back. That was like 2 hours ago, and still nothing. you'd think that it might be sorta a priority to give me a call back but I guess not.

So I tried to get out of the house for a minute and grab coffee and got stuck at a road flagger for like 10 minutes, and JUST missed the barista I like at BigFoot... Then texting London and thinking about everything going on I just burst into tears.

Its really weird to be pregnant after a loss... Like everything could be a possible symptom of loss after you've already had one. Any weird stomach feeling makes you think you're cramping, every time you go pee you're checking to see if you're spotting... you always wonder if you really feel the same as the last pregnancy, why dont I have morning sickness, all this and that. Everything is a possible symtom, even if it's just a fart. I swear. Its stressful and wearing me out. My doc appointment isn't for another 11 days and I feel like thats going to take FOREVER. I haven't seen anything yet, no ultrasound or anything. I just want to get in there and see whats going on, the wondering is so mentally exhosting. Its hard to explain to some people, and it's hard for people that haven't been there to understand... And since it's always on your mind it seems like thats all you want to talk about, but it gets old for friends only hearing about that... And it seems like as soon as you find out you're pregnant everything becomes about that. "I can't go drink, Im knocked up" "I didnt unload the dishwasher cause I was too tired" "See that monster zit? It's cause I am raging with hormones, cause Im pregnant" or "I just wanted a back rub and I got this huge gut instead."

It just doesnt stop... I'll probably be back later, but for now... I think Im done ranting.

Lame

... constant boob pain has set in, I can't stop peeing, and Im hungry all the time. Yay for the first trimester! Its getting hard to keep up with work when Im so worn out all the time. I get up at like 915 and by 11 Im ready for a nap, seriously! Oh well... given what I went through earlier this year I appreciate all things that are coming with this pregnancy. I just wish I could go to the doctor! It's so nerve racking not knowing whats going on inside, but getting fatter every day. I thought I was growing last time and it turned out that I was probably just kidding myself.

Oh yeah... acne. Im allowed to complain about hormonal outbursts of acne. Any woman is. And for some reason it seems that the feeling of carpal tunnel is flairing up in my hands again. Strange because that happened with my last pregnancy, but I didn't notice it with amara because I'd not really started sewing until after she was born. I hope it doesn't continue, it's hard to work and focus when your hands feel like they just got smashed with a sledge hammer. :(

Hmm... speaking of being hungry... Its time for bed. I dont want to eat right before I go to sleep, and I have to get up at like 8 to take Dylan to school so I can have the car. So... on that note, Im out of here.

Peace out.

oh man...

Just spent an awesome part of my day at the WIC office trying to figure out if I qualify for DSHS insurance... yay! ... actually that was all sarcasim if you didn't know. It was a huge pain in the ass the whole time I was there, start to finish. But I got the stuff I needed in the mail, so hopefully I will be able to get on. I have no idea when Dylan will get his insurance with Tmobile, mostly cause I have no idea when he even starts.

So... We're going to do a BBQ kinda party on Sunday for Dylan, I hope people can come. I wont really be able to hide that Im knocked up anymore, but whatever... We'll see how it goes, lol. I hope that people are able to come. I set up a little invite thing on Facebook but most of his friends aren't on mine, obviously. Oh well, we'll see.

I got my first doc appointment for the baby set up! It's August 17th. I wish I could go in sooner, I just want to see everything and know that the baby is in good shape and stuff. Its stressful, but they wont see you before 8 weeks, so I dont really have a choice. I feel fine, just tired like usual.

Well... Time to go get Dylan from school, he's been there doing homework all day... I'll update soon.

back again

Hey. Me again. Like you didn't know.

I stopped sucking it in and I look at least 3 months pregnant. Im not even 2 months yet. It's kind of weird. I still have another 6 weeks or so before its really ok to stop worrying and stuff. It'll be a huge relief in about 2 weeks when I get to go to the doctor. I just want to get the ultrasound and see what everything looks like. Im nervous. I try to stay busy and not think about it, but when you finally get pregnant after a loss its on your mind allll the time. specially when you're showing already. It's going to be hard to not tell people, specially now. I have blabbed to a few, and anyone keeping up to date on this blog will know, but I dont think thats very many.

I need to call DSHS and see about getting on the insurance, if we're going to be able to keep the ebt money we get, and have an appointment tomorrow to get more stuff from WIC. I have to get weighed... not excited about that, but I'll know how much weight I've gained since I got so busy with work I couldn't go to the gym anymore. After these next 2 weeks I am going back to the gym. I have to. I dont want to gain a ton of weight right before my 5 year anniversary party when I pop this thing out. Also... Im sure it's going to change when I get the ultrasound, but right now my due date is my 25th birthday. go figure.

Anyways... Im off for the night. Im exhosted all the flippin' time now... I dont make it much past 12 before Im falling asleep... Going to sit on the couch for the next hour, eat and crochet. Sounds good to me.

Peace.