alright...

I've had a long ass day. I went to Federal Way to drop dylan off at school, then stopped back in Renton for coffee, spilled the beans to the coffee girl (oops!) and then headed up to Bellevue to meet Katie at her potential wedding venue. It turned out to be somewhat of a bust for the wedding that she's doing, but it was good to get some ideas. After that I headed up to Mill Creek to pick up London (who is also a client/friend) to help Katie get some ideas for invites and save the dates. And of course Katies house is in Marysville... Then on my way home it took a retarded amount of time, of which I was hot, pissy, almost got rear-ended, starving to death, and amara would sparatically wake up crying, which wasn't helping the ever changing hormone levels.

Speaking of hormone levels... god Im so tired! I just want to go to bed, and I can't believe it's almost 730. I've been up for 12 hours already. I thought I was getting fat cause I just stopped sucking it in, but I think Im starting to show already. I know Im not that skinny, and that the baby is just about the size of an apple seed, but still. Its my 3rd pregnancy, and by this point the body knows that to do and kicks it into high gear. Im not really trying to flaunt it and then look like a total ass when I have to tell people I'm not even 2 months, but hey... I can pretend its not just extra weight, right?

And... I need to get back to the gym. I have some dresses to finish up in the next 2 weeks but I really want to get back to the gym soon. I dont want to gain another 35lbs like I did before, specially since I still had another 20 or so to lose when I got pregnant this time... Lame. But walking and weights for my arms will help that too. I just need to get through these 2 weeks and get these dresses finished (3 of which are for London) and then I can take a day off and sleep as much as I want... I think.

Well... I'm out. I have a wedding dress fitting Tuesday and have just barely even started the damn thing. Although it's the most incredible fabric ever, china silk and silk chiffon are the WORST fabrics to work with on the planet... If I weren't getting a nice fat check on Tuesday I would throw in the towel and call it quits. But her wedding is at the end of August so... I can't leave her hanging.

ok... bye. again.

Back from planned parenthood

annnd! the final result is that I am indeed knocked up. I know it seems like Im going to extreme to figure this out, but I really dont want to get my hopes up and then find out I managed to get 3 crappily wrong tests at home. So! We're looking at 5 weeks and 3 days, with an approximate due date of May 28th, 2011. Just about one month before Dylan and my 5 year anniversary party. Balls. But at least I know that I wont be pregnant AT the party. I'll have a month to get in good shape and stuff, but I was going to make my dresses, so ... looks like I'll be pulling a few allnighters in that month to get stuff done. My friend Katie is also getting married the weekend after our party and im doing her bridal party, her dress and I'm in the wedding (eek!) so it should be interesting... We'll need to get started earlier, thats all. Katie, if you read this, dont crap your pants and get worried, we'll figure it out, lol.

I still have a balance from my doctor earlier this year so I have to figure out how to pay that off before I can go in for my first appointment. I haven't made a payment until recently so I doubt they're going to allow me to come in before paying that off. lame. I really dont want to switch doctors, but I am supposed to go in for my first appointment at 8 weeks so they can ultrasound and everything. How am I going to pay off like $750 in 3 weeks? balls! Im hoping that Dr Werner will make the final call and let me come in. Specially since right now we only go in once a month.

Also... we're on state medical for Amara, so hopefully I can get on it as well. Dylan got a job at Tmobile and will be getting insurance but it probably wont start for another 3 months or so. It'd be nice to have the DSHS for now and then be double covered when his medical kicks in. We'll see. I dont have the brain span to think about it all right now. It's only 3:35 and im mentally and physically drained. I forget how tired I am when Im knocked up. Heh.

Ok well im out of here for now. I have some serious cleaning to do, and some inventory to make and a wedding dress to start. And... another purple bridesmaid dress (from an order of 8) to finish and then Im done with that... I really dont have time to doddle. So do I keep working, even tho Im tired and wont be productive, or do I just lay down and take a nap and then plow through it later.

Oh! and project runway is on tonight... can't FLIPPIN wait!

jhgfhk.,nghf

I couldn't think of a title, so I let Amara pound on the keys for a minute... good plan right?

So... Second test finished and ... *drumroll* I got the same result as yesterday. Second line is faint, but it's there! and on my tests that means POSITIVE!!!

No offense to anyone, but Im going to try and keep this pregnancy under wraps. I dont want to go through the same thing I did at the beginning of this year, and then have to go and explain. We'll see if I can keep it quiet for the next 2.5 months, specially cause even at 10 weeks last time I was already showing. But hey, at least I dont have to keep sucking it in anymore! I need to get going and finish the rest of these dresses and get start going ot the gym again. And eating better. I mean I dont eat a lot of junk to begin with, but I need more fruit and veggies and stuff. Already got the prenatal under control.

So yeah! It would appear that my nesting has started already because this place is a dump and it's driving me nuts! There's stuff everywhere, and Amara's room is over flowing with toys and stuff... Now we need to get her in a toddler bed and get rid of the recliner... It needs to be cleaned, but let me know if you want it, LOL.

Anyways... gatta figure out how to tell Dylan that Im popping out another kid. Hopefully his job interview went well...

Be back later, Im sure.

Long time no post...

*sigh* Well, it's been a while, yeah? I started this blog to get me through the loss of a baby, and didn't feel the need to make small talk after that experience... but here I am again, waiting on the results of a little pee stick. Its been 6 months already since I was in the hospital, and about 10 days ago we officially started trying again. It looks like theres a double pink line, which is a good thing, being a positive test... but one of them is kinda faint. So being logical me, Im going to wait and take another test in the morning before sharing the news with hubby. I dont want to share and get my hope sup and start my period tomorrow. I dont need more let downs right now.

So here I am, blurting out my feelings to a computer screen, not wanting to tell the husband or friend but leaving it for the rest of the world to see. Oh technology. How you've managed to screw up personal communication, LOL.

I feel like I am bursting with this news, trying to keep a level head and not tell everyone is hard tho. I have plenty of sewing and stuff to keep me busy, but if that test IS right, it would seem that baby exhostion is already kicking my ass. that and I spent an hour or so in the scorching heat and im totally wiped out now. I wanted to take a nap but I feel like my brain would just be reeling the whole time anyways.

Hmm... well not that i've gotten that off my chest I feel better I suppose. I will be stopping at the store tonight to pick up a few more tests and see what tomorrow morning brings. I have had some serious baby blues lately, everyone around me getting pregnant and me wanting it so desperately. But, maybe we'll get lucky this time. Litterally, hah!

well I guess thats that for now. You can only go on so long before your repeating the same thing 64 times. I guess I will be back with the results tomorrow? so... stay tuned!